The Olive Pizza Outrage: Why Food Shaming Isn’t a Personality Trait

The internet is at it again, folks—and this time, it’s coming for olives. Yes, olives. Those little briny jewels that have peacefully existed on charcuterie boards and Greek salads are now being dragged into the spotlight as the next “culinary abomination” for daring to appear on pizza.

I stumbled across a Newsweek article—because apparently, that’s how I choose to ruin my mood these days—and it declared olives the latest food faux pas. Pineapple is out, olives are in… the frying pan of public ridicule. Seriously? Who keeps driving this angry, judgmental food train, and why is it always careening straight through someone else’s dinner?

First of all, let me say this: I hate social media. Not because I’m a grumpy middle-aged chef (though I am, proudly), but because of the relentless performative outrage. It’s exhausting. Everyone’s suddenly a gourmet purist, smugly shaming anyone who dares to deviate from their holy trinity of “acceptable” toppings. And the worst part? They pretend it’s funny. “It’s just banter!” they say. Yeah? Tell that to the person you just humiliated in front of 60,000 keyboard warriors.

It’s not “just a joke” when you make someone feel gross, dumb, or wrong for liking what they like. It’s not cute. It’s not clever. It’s just bullying with extra toppings.

And can we talk about the hypocrisy for a second? The same people screaming “My body, my choice!” are turning into Gordon Ramsay’s evil twin the moment someone posts a slice with pineapple and—gasp—olives. Pick a lane, Karen.

So, in honor of the absurdity, I’m taking a stand. I’m ordering the most unholy creation I can think of: a sauceless, cheeseless pizza topped with black olives and pineapple. That’s right. No marinara. No mozzarella. Just sweet and salty blasphemy baked on a naked crust. And I will eat it with smug satisfaction while watching the comments section go full apocalyptic meltdown.

Why? Because I can. Because my taste buds don’t need your approval. And because honestly, if your personality hinges on what other people put on their pizza… you might need more sauce in your life.

So go ahead, roast me in the comments. Or better yet—drop your favorite “weird” food combo. I want to know what you love, even if the internet thinks it’s a crime.

Because here’s the truth: joy should never be up for debate. And neither should pizza toppings.

Mind your crust.

What’s your most controversial food opinion? Tell me in the comments—and if you like your pizza weird and wonderful, subscribe to the blog for more spicy takes and heartfelt rants.